"Are you cold?" Easy asked when the two of them were sitting on top of the bluffs, overlooking the slow moving Hudson. The sky was lightening to smoky gray, and Easy wanted to watch the sun rise. He put his arm around her shoulders.
The it girl series,Notorious by Cecily Von Ziegesar

I missed having someone to ask if i was cold.I missed having someone sitting with me to watch the sun rise.I missed the feel of someone's arms around me.I missed everything about you.But that has passed."Newfangled" life, "newfangled" mentalities. But deep inside, i know--that i'll never be as insouciant as i was.Never.It's really enigmatic.How i can feel this way.I learnt that copping out of problems is not a way of facing the demons that lie deep within us.Copping out of problems is not a way either.I can't say that i don't feel the knife stabbing at the ebbing pain in my heart whenever i think back.It still hurts.But i'll just have to repress my feelings.Because there's nothing i can do.I doubt there is anything you can do either.But most importantly,i've learnt, the hard and slow way,to let go.No matter how painful it is.The best thing you can do in certain situations where you're in a crossroad,is let go.It's the best for both parties.I don't deny that my world slowly and painfully came crashing down on me when i heard from you.The lights in my world were instinctively cut off.Just one bulb causing the rest to shut off.Pitch black.The mystical eden we shared was doomed.I knew it.But did not face it.But letting go is the only solution.I did not want the end to come.You did not either.But we were forced and there's nothing we can do but leave a special place and mark in each other's hearts and move on.I used to think i did not deserve you.Inferiority.And maybe as a result i did not treasure you.But all that was in the past.I will forgive and forget and move on.Forget the "fuck this shit" attitude and get a positive outlook in life--a little impertinent to my point?i know.But i've come out of this a stronger person and more matured.I have someone with me to help me confront my problems and he is lovely and sweet.I no longer miss having someone to hold,someone to talk to that much anymore.I hope you are okay and don't worry about me.