Must it really be so painful.I dont know if it is for you,but it is for me.More painful than you can imagine.Breaking down becomes the only solution.My heart is shatterd into a million pieces.A million pieces that you and no one but you can ever piece back together.Somehow tears are just flowing freely.Aren't they ever tired of flowing?I dont think so.Its very painful.Do you know?Do you know how painful this reality actually is?I wish i could just wake up and say this is all a bad dream.I really dont wanna face up to reality and wish i could just hide.Call me a coward if you want.I cant care anymore.However,im forced to face up to the truth.The horrid truth.The bloody truth that i really wish i had never known.Maybe it was my mistake.Oh,I really dont know anymore.I dont wanna know.It will be one more crappy fact that i would have to face up to.But since i've promised you that i would deal with my own feelings,i guess i will have to.But let's get this straight.It's fucking difficult okay.I just made the realisation that this is the first time that i actually dont beieve that "time heals a broken heart".It's so totally not true with you.I did not want this end to come.I dont want this end to come.I never want this end to come.But it has come.These words look plain,bleak and cold on my screen staring back straight at me.I swear.I will breakdown sometime soon.I wish i was stronger.But i cant help it.This really sucks.I mean...i was glad to know that you wont give up.Neither will I.But still i cant help crying.It's the only thing that makes sense currently.My heart is practically shattered and bleeding.I keep telling myself "face it girl.Be strong.keep smiling as your friends tell you to." but i keep breaking down.Reality is too harsh.To harsh for me to take.I really wish i could talk to you.But face it,i cant.And i hate that fact.I really wish i could still hold out a strong front infront of you.But i cant keep it up anymore.Im really sorry.It hurts too much.I miss you.I really miss you.The only time that im able to pull myself together before snapping is when im with my friends.But its all just a front.A bloody front that have to put up.But im just weak and strengthless inside.My bestfriend,comfort,confidante,shelter and more is suddenly missing.It's like a part of my everyday life is missing,lost and gone.I feel lost.I need you back in my life.Baby,I need you back in my life.I cant hold out much longer.Help me.Im sorry if im asking too much of you.But all i want is you.Your familiar voice.Your familiar company.Your familiar care and gentleness.Your familiar comfort.All the love be it as a friend or more than that that you give.I really want to say thank you for all the love and warmth that you give me.Love as a friend,a best friend or a more than that,i enjoyed it all.It's been nine months,coming ten.Really whizzed past.No matter what happens i will always remember you.As my best and closest friend or more.And just to let you know.Regarding what i told your sister about just now, I won't give up.I don plan on giving up.I dont wanna give up.I wish i will never give up.I hope that these are your sentiments too.I wont forget you or give up on you as someone more than a friend.I hope you wont too.Seriously.I dont know why but im hopelessly mad over you.I.Miss.You...Going to sleep at 12.25am with thoughts of you whirling around in my mind.I really cant say if i will break down and cry to sleep.But i will try my best not to okay.I will try to pull myself together for your sake.I know you hate to see me like that.Im sorry.